Searching for Love and Finding Yourself in the Process

There are a lot of expectations when it comes to love. Our anticipation starts with pre-date jitters, and we don’t stop fantasizing about the future for the rest of our relationship. Sometimes, those expectations are a healthy way to set intentions for the partnership. While in other circumstances, expectations create a disconnect between the relationship we imagine, and the relationship that actually exists. Whether you’re in a relationship, searching for love or in the middle of one of our crystal rituals, it’s important not to get so caught up in expectations, that you miss out on the beauty of experiences.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make when doing the Attract Love Ritual from Crystal Muse is to assume the outcome. If you enter the experience assuming that it will be easy, quick or serve your fantasy person up on a silver platter, you’re going to get a harsh reality check. Rituals are about taking you on a journey. If you start a 40-day ritual out with the expectation that you will meet your soulmate on day two, you’re likely to be disappointed. Rituals don’t always give you what you want; but instead they often give you what you need. For one person, the process of an attract love ritual may produce a lasting partnership, but for someone else, instead of answering their call of searching for love, it might guide them to find the love and forgiveness they’ve been depriving themselves of.

Someone singularly focused on finding their love connection may then ask, “What’s the point of doing a love ritual, if I’m not going to find a match?” Often the reason we can’t find the love we’re looking for, is because of negative patterns we haven’t broken out of yet. Seeking out self-love and forgiveness through lots of reflection is the best path to finding a healthy and fulfilling partnership. For Gina King, learning to love herself and feel confident on her own was the greatest lesson that she took from her attract love ritual.

Gina recently did the attract love ritual after reading about it in the love chapter of Crystal Muse: Everyday Rituals to Tune In to the Real You. She thought that it would help to her attract love, but she wasn’t expecting the lesson she’d learn along the way as she was searching for love. Heather Askinosie sat down with Gina to get her take on the Attract Love Ritual. Watch the full video, and find the highlights of Gina’s experience searching for love, but instead finding herself below!

Heather Askinosie: What’s been your relationship history?

Gina King: I’ve been in a few serious relationships. One, not so great. Two, with loving people who turned out to just not be my people. They weren’t ready to get married, and that’s what I want. The last one was especially hard for me because I thought he was it.

I went on a date one or two months after the breakup, and I got home from this date and just burst into tears. I said to myself, ‘I’m just not ready. I’m just gonna focus on Gina.’

Heather: When you first started the ritual, were you guilty of any of the taboos for love?

Gina: For sure. First of all, I wear black all the time.

Heather: How did that feel [having to not wear black for 40 days]?

Gina: It forced me to go out and buy more clothes…It made me get out of my comfort zone.

Heather: Was it hard to implement this ritual into your life on a daily basis?

Gina: I’m super busy—I’m teaching, I’m tutoring—so, I wanted to make sure I had my time [to do the daily chants and intentions]. I knew I had to have a consistent time, so what I decided to do, was make 5:20 a.m. every morning my time. Before I walked my dog, before I took my shower, I would wake up and light my candles and start my chant. It was challenging because I had to do it on the weekends too, but I’d just wake up, do my chants, and go back to bed.

Heather: Did you find the ritual to be fairly easy?

Gina: Yeah. The bath that I did with the vinegar and the rose petals, at first when I was mixing it all together, I was like, ‘What is this? What am I about to get in?’ But I did the whole 20 minutes of soaking, and it made me reflect. I had all these flashbacks about all these different points of love.

One thing that I would tell anyone that’s going to do the love ritual, is, ‘Keep track of it!’ Just one sentence a day to remark on something. I did a ton of journaling. It forces you to let things out. I was like ‘Oh, my gosh, I haven’t thought about that in years.’

Heather: Were there any milestones for you during this journey?

Gina: Day one, I ran into my ex from a couple years ago. And I was like ‘Okay, here we go!’

Heather: What words of wisdom or advice would you give to anyone considering doing this ritual or anyone searching for love?

Gina: One thing I would recommend for sure, is that you need to be ready. You need to be ready to love yourself. The best thing about this love ritual is that you’re really trying to get connected to yourself. Maybe a guy is going to be the bonus, but I think the love ritual really just helped me to keep the love within myself. And it made me aware of the love that surrounds me all the time.

Around day 25 of this ritual, I’m kind of the person that likes instant gratification. I want results right now. I was never going to give up, but I was feeling like I wanted it so badly. But once I just let go—stopped counting down the days—I was able to accept that whether or not I find the person, this practice is leading me to a better place for myself.  The best part of it wasn’t even finding love with a guy; it was really focusing and taking that time for me. This opened my eyes up to how much love is around me, everywhere.

To learn more about Gina King, head to her website, My Worth Girl. To see the entire Attract Love Ritual, turn to page 119 of our crystal healing book, Crystal Muse: Everyday Rituals to Tune in to the Real You. 

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